Letting go is a broad term in my opinion, I’d rather just say moving on, they work interchangeably, I think.
Senior year was not what I had thought, I thought it would be a magical, wonderful, fun year. Really it seemed like some elongated epiphany, I discovered a lot about who I am and who I was, in March that was when I really understood why my life had changed so suddenly, I had been forced to move on from comfortability and now I lived an uncomfortable life, but I don’t hate it. being uncomfortable teaches you things about yourself you would have never known if you stayed in the same grave all your life.
I had seen briefly the place I wanted to be and how I wanted to get there, maybe it was God, or bull TikTok propaganda, but I felt less “behind” than I felt before, all my friends are going way, and what’s the best way to grief a living person? Go see the world, make stories with strangers you’ll never see again, taking your mind off of the problems you cannot control helped me get over the thought of my friends leaving. Yeah, i’ll be a mess when the day in August does come, but I have an uncomfortable plan.
Leaving what you know behind, whether it’s permanent or temporary, does help, maybe it will bring a faith to the unfaithful, or habits to un-habitual people, or just a change in your life is sometimes the key people need.
Senior year I think I also started to grow wiser in a way, I stopped pointing my problems in inappropriate directions and I started to think “if I can’t do something to fix it directly, don’t bother it”. God will take the wheel, whether you believe it or not, he is the greatest. I also started to spend a lot of time alone when I could, (also just because I have been constantly busy everyday), but it was nice, it sounds depressing, but I did start to understand how I work as a human, I was able to navigate my mind and what worked and what didn’t work.
Maybe the “coping”, or “drowning the problem” mechanisms are actually subtly fueling the fire, like oxygen fueling the fire, you think it would help, but over time, fire can become so gaseous and hot when enclosed, just a tiny amount of oxygen let in can create a giant explosion.